Has anyone noticed that my new favorite way to punctuate is with three dots? As in... Weird how I've taken a liking to three little periods in a row.
Harold was sick this weekend. A harsh cold. He spent hours sleeping on both Saturday and Sunday. He was still feeling pretty lousy on Monday, better but lousy, so he stayed home from work. He cannot stand staying home for 3 days in a row even if he is sick so for FHE last night the four of us went to the dollar theater to see Indiana Jones. Harold had seen it and didn't like it but for some odd reason has been trying to convince me to see it ever since. For $2 for the entire family, I'll give it a try. Plus my expectations were low so I couldn't go wrong.
We got there at a decent time, about 20 minutes before the movie started, which is a big deal for my ever-late family. We found some seats and I immediately could tell I was going to be irritated during the movie. You know when you have people sit down near you and they are loud and obnoxious, shouting to their friends on the other side of their row? When this happens I get a kind of a ticked-off, irritable feeling and start preparing to be annoyed. I had to remind myself that you get what you pay for so keep those expectations low, missy!
There is a scene in You've Got Mail where Meg Ryan and Greg Kinnear go to the movies and are talking during the previews and a lady tells them to hush. He says "you want me to be quiet while a HOT DOG is singing?" Apparently it was the part where the movie vendor is promoting buying treats at the snack counter. I love that part of the movie, but I'm kind of like that woman, once the lights go down, STOP TALKING!
During the pre-show there was lots of talking, a calmed myself down and figured that once the lights went down a hush would magically fall over the crowd. The lights go down, the previews start and the kids behind me are LOUDLY talking to each other. Not even attempting to keep it on the low-down. I just couldn't handle it, my nerves were already a little raw, so I whip my entire body around and and say "Hey!" The kid apologizes and even after his siblings or friends, whatever, were still talking he was sushing them. Good job kid! Thanks for respecting my right to a peaceful movie.
Then the movie starts. All goes fairly well until a lady behind me and to the right (who had been chatting VERY loudly during the pre-movie show) starts doing it again. Only this time it is a running commentary.
Cate Blanchet's character shows up:
Loud Lady Response: "Who is SHE?"
Indiana splits open the casing of a mummy to reveal the nastiness inside.
Loud Lady Response: "DISGUSTING!"
Indiana reverses a poison dart at a foe and kills him.
Loud Lady Response: "EW"
NOTE: Ew and Disgusting were the LL's favorite words last night.
The crystal skull is revealed.
Loud Lady Reponse: "EW. THAT IS SO UGLY. DISGUSTING. HIS TEETH LOOK LIKE DAGGERS!"
At this point I start laughing, uncontrollably. My body is shaking as I try to stop myself. Harold starts laughing, Sav starts laughing, the three of us have our entire bodies shaking and rolling as we try to contain ourselves. I mean at this point all I'm thinking is, "Is it weirdo night at the dollar theater? Do all the movie crazies go to some class wherein they learn the fine art of disturbing other movie-goers? Am I am candid camera?"
At some point early on I had turned to the LL and made a nasty face (yes in the dark, where she probably couldn't see...) and Harold says, "Honey, she's got something wrong with her." YA THINK? Turns out she really did. I think she had a mental retardation, for real. Then I felt bad for my nasty look. But I still couldn't help busting out into laughter at least three times during the movie.
Harold says the running commentary made the movie for him. Even now...I am sitting here with a grin on my face. I guess it made the movie for me, too. Although spending 2 hours of time with Harrison Ford is a secret dream of mine, so that aspect might have helped.