Tuesday, February 16, 2010

D is for Delilah

We got back yesterday from visiting Dale and Leisa in St. George. It's February, the weather has been cold up here and we've missed having Dale over for Sunday dinner. Now that he's hitched, Harold and Dale planned a visit.

I was hoping, crossing my fingers, that Leisa was ok with the four of us descending on her new home/new life. Of course, Leisa is fantastically easy going, so I wasn't ultra worried, but as a woman with a home, sometimes visitors are hard to bear, even when you love them to death.

So, on Friday after the kids got out of school we packed up (after thoroughly cleaning our house, just in case we had walk throughs-which we did not! UGH!) and headed down to Dixie.

While driving into town we asked the kids if they knew what the big "D" on the hill stood for. Savannah's answer, in a sing-song voice, "De-li-lah....."

We arrived at 8 p.m. and D&L had dinner prepared for us (how nice!). The trip took only 3 hours....which is pretty much the best time for out of town visits. Any more than 3 hours and I start to go all rigid with unhappy anticipation.

On Saturday we had a very full day, after homemade french toast, the day started with the "hike of fame" which I blogged about.

The hike was more like a meandering path. I DIG those kinds of hikes! The view was pretty sweet and Harold and Dale got to do some serious plane watching, which meant Leisa and I got a chance to chat while the guys hung back.

After the hike we showered and headed to the Jacob Hamblin home as well as Brigham Young's winter home. We also went dinner, swimming, and bought some cupcakes.

Saturday was a VERY full day.

Sunday started with a tradition from Leisa's family, pink pancakes and pink milk. So fun! I wish I had more fun traditions that I had brought into my marriage!

We lazed around a bit and then went to church......where the bishop's wife thought I was Leisa's mother! UGH!

Now, Leisa is a lovely girl. If my daughter turns out like Leisa, I'm gonna be a pretty happy mama.

All I could think was, I'm not old enough to be Leisa's mother. Then I did the math and guess what, Yes I am old enough. If I had gotten married the day after I graduated from HS and got married and PG right away, I could be her mother!

Man, this was a major blow!

A girl in RS redeemed the moment by asking if we were sisters. Now, sisters I can handle, especially since I think Leisa is so pretty!

After church we had a superdelish dinner and then walked over to the temple and checked out the visitor's center. After that we walked back and had cake and played games.

Monday we went to the park that we had heard so much about the kids got some energy out! (yay for quiet rides home in the car!)

Then we had lunch and vamoosed.

What a terrific weekend. Here's why Dale and Leisa's parents should be proud:

1. They made every single meal together. They worked side by side in the kitchen, quietly consulting each other, and preparing some yummy meals.
2. They had everything we needed, a bed, shower, toiletries, etc.
3. They planned out the entire weekend with fun, no-cost activities where we got to really spend time together and enjoy eachother's company.
4. They made us feel at home.

Thanks St. George Smith Family!!! You made our stay so enjoyable, we'll probably be back, so brace yourselves. But, we'll only be coming in the Jan-Apr months because any other time and it'll be too hot for this flower!

Can you say 66 degrees when we left Dixie? Man oh man, it was scrumptious.

(Our camera died after 1 shot....lame.)

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

To Quote Britney Spears....

Ooops, I did it again.

I watched The Biggest Loser. And ate. And cried.

What is going on here?

To my (our) credit, H. and I have been walking for two weeks now in the bitter cold a.m. YAY!

Most days I've been tracking my calories...until yesterday. M's bday.

And today, leftover cake day.

Jillian would be mortified.

Bob would forgive me.

The good news is that since Feb 3 I've gotten my weight back down to my "threshold."

Now it's time to crank it up and start going down again.

Without divulging my current weight, let me just say that this number is NOT the one I thought I would get hung up on. I had a couple of major milestones in my head where I knew mentally I might slow down, but this wasn't one of those numbers.

We are planning on going on a small hike on Saturday. A couple of years ago I would have flat out refused. Today I told Harold, as long as it isn't crazy serious hiking.

Why? Because I've hiked and always, always been the last one to come up the hill....breathing heavy, sweaty and completely embarassed. (Once, on my mission in Scotland, when I finally arrived at the top, I was called upon to lead the zone in a song....for realz? I mean, I was 100% embarassed then. The rest of the zone had been there a while, had a while to rest....not me, I looked horrific.)

But today, now, I can at least know that it doesn't matter if I'm last or sweaty, there is no need to be embarassed because I'm gonna do it! If I'm last, I don't care. I'm just gonna do it, because I can.

Anyone out there lost a serious amount of weight, 100 pounds or more? I'd love to sit down with someone like that and pick their brain.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

The Give Away

Now don't go getting all excited, thinking I'm doing a giveaway right here on my little ole' blog....I'm talking about the Big Candy Giveaway of 2010.

I was thinking early this afternoon how I could have a little bit of the candy in my purse, yes the aforementioned candy in my previous post. I thought that half of the candy would be an ok fit into my daily caloric goal.

Then I remembered....one of my other goals was to give the candy away. And, I stopped myself from eating any.

Then, Mack comes home from school and as I'm walking by my purse I remember and stop and say,

Me: Hey, (as I'm rifling through my purse).......

Mack: Hunh?

Me: (As I hand over the goods)...Here!

Mack: (With a puzzled expression as this is the same Reese's 'egg' he requested days ago) Hunh?

Me: Take it, eat it!

Mack: (Shrugging...) Ok.

Then, I wait for Sav to come closer, which she does.....

Me: (Rifling through said purse again...) Here.

Sav: (As I hand her my Take 5 gets an even more puzzled expression than M. did.) Hunh?

Me: (I just look at her.)

Sav: Can I eat this?

Me: Yep, it's all yours....(as I walk away....happy and sad all at once.)

I'm a little saddened by:
1. The loss of my candy, and...
2. The fact that my kids are completely puzzled by my giving said candy away. Why are they puzzled? Because they are USED to their mother being a piggy. Nice.

If I'm Not Talking About It.....

I'm a creature of habit, not all good habits mind you, but I am fairly deeply entrenched in certain habits. The one I'd like to talk about today is this: If I'm not talking about it, I'm not doing it.

I was going to mention this in yesterday's blog, about how if I don't report about my weight loss efforts, it's because there have been NO WEIGHT LOSS EFFORTS.

When I'm feeling extremely motivated or extremely discouraged, I talk about it. When I just don't want to bother, I lurk and hide in the shadows of other parts of my life.

Congrats to me, I'm out from behind the shadows!

Yesterday I vowed to stay on track calorie-wise because it was already 8:00 a.m. when my motivation hit me and exercise was a thing of the past. (I know, right? At 8 a.m. if I haven't exercised, it AIN'T gonna happen!)

My goal was 1200 calories. This sounds low, I know. But my happy band makes it so I am seriously NOT hungry on 1200 calories. The only time I found myself wanting MORE yesterday was when I was snacky and thinking about the Reese's and Take 5 in my purse. I didn't eat them, I swear, they are still there people, in my purse.

So I ate 1400 calories. I'm seriously fine with that. It turns out my body burns calories at a rate of 2000 per 24-hour period. So, that leaves me with a 700 calorie deficit.....times that by 7 days in a week and I burn 4900 calories per week over my basic rate. 3500 calories per pound and voila! I'm in the going DOWN category, rather than the going UP category.

Can I sustain this? I don't know. And, I tend to lose weight better when exercising.....so.....if I can burn 300 extra calories every single day, sticking to 1400 cals/eaten.....then that is a 1000 cal deficit, leading to a loss of 2 pounds per week on average.

And I'm ok with that.

But.....and everyone has a big but.......I'm not ready to give away/throw away the candy in my purse. Safety net? Probably not the appropriate term. More like a snare. Maybe one of my goals today will be to give my candy away to my children (who actually burn calories every day because they enjoy running around with their friends). M. has already begged me for the Reese's and I flat out told him NO WAY Brothuh! He was disappointed, but probably more disgusted than anything else. I mean, why would I need two candy bars in my purse anyway?

That settles it, todays GOALS:
1. Give candy away.
2. Drink water........I'm pretty sure I don't drink enough water. When I do drink enough water I see the inside of my bathroom appr. every 20 minutes.
3. Stick to calorie goal.

Oh.....and I don't need to worry about exercise because Harold was actually out of bed and said to me, "are we going on our walk?"

HALLELUJAH!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you Harold!!!

Even though on our walk we had a heated discussion about nursing school. A healthy debate is a good thing, right?

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Return and Report

You know how I blog about exercise and weight loss? You know how a few weeks ago I said I was all motivated to exercise again? You know how I've been holding steady on my weight for a long, long time?


After I blogged about exercise I ended up exercising twice. Then I lost my motivation again. Then this week I told H. "That's it! I'm going OUTSIDE in the bitter cold to walk, are you coming with me?" To which he responded, "Yes."

We walked Monday and Tuesday. Then this morning I just couldn't face the cold. Just couldn't.

So, I get on the scale and I've been seeing it creep up a bit here and there and I am now 2.5 pounds above my threshold. Could that be from no exercise and eating an entire shake last night? Not to mention that I keep buying candy "for my purse." Take 5's, Reese's, etc. Plus I made a quiche last night that was ultra-fatty (and delish).

But I am here to tell you....even though staying in bed feels nice, and even though eating candy sure tastes good going down, and even though I cannot blame 2.5 pounds on just a couple of days, and even though I work on my back side for A LOT of hours each day, and even though I've been turning to food lately for comfort.

I'm done.

I feel icky. Super, duper icky. I need to bottle this feeling and open the bottle up at 6 a.m. every day so that I remember I'd rather be out in the crazy coldness than sit at my desk feeling like crud.

I can open my bottle of ickiness while waiting at the checkout, as I slyly eyeball the candy.

I can open my bottle of ickiness while I sit at dinner and take 30-45 minutes to eat ALL I WANT....even though my band nurse tells me to stop eating after 20 minutes. At 20 minutes the bottle will be unleashed so that I take the plate away and STOP.

I can open my bottle of ickiness every single day while I count calories, because I'd rather do mental calorie calculations than sit here feeling so gross.

I cannot even describe how gross I feel right now. I haven't exercised this morning, I haven't eaten anything yet, I haven't gotten showered or dressed (I'm in a robe). I have 11 hours of work ahead of me today.

All the yuck adds up people and I feel as if I'm wallowing in ICK.

Oh, and financially I don't know if I can go to nursing school. And, if I start back now, I'd be going to school as my kids go through some very serious formative years. If I could do school all by itself w/o working....I could do it. But we need my paycheck.

So, I'm feeling all sorry for myself on all kinds of levels today.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010


Life is full of them, right? Every time you turn around something is different. Then there are those days where it seems like life is the same day in and day out.

I read a blog "Ode to Groundhog Day" and I could relate....but instead of thinking in the morning that this day will be the same as the last, here is what I think:

At night, just as we are about to put the kids to bed, I think, "Really? I'm going to sleep now and everything will start over again tomorrow?" Again and again and again.

But lately change has happened in a few profound ways. We put our house on the market, my grandmother passed away, the Payson temple was announced, Harold got released as Ward Mission Leader.....and now I'm thinking seriously again about nursing school.

Checking my options. Salt Lake Community College has an agreement with my employer. They have a nursing program where they give points for admission based on:
1. Years at IHC.
2. GPA.
3. Either enrollment in or completion of pathophysiology.

Well, I got years at IHC covered....almost 9!
GPA will depend on prereqs.
and pathophys....

With prereqs and everything, it would take at least 3 years, possibly 4 to get my RN.

Now, at Provo College, I can take prereqs along side some nursing classes. I could be done in 2 years. But, the cost is astronomical.

I need to talk myself down. Be patient, or find a way for IHC to pay for Provo College! :)


Change is coming, whether it's schooling or not, the house remains on the market, the temple is a'comin' but probably without us here, Harold is now a Sunday School teacher, my grandma lived a long, beautiful 89 years and was buried yesterday in California.

Wow....every day life is the same, and it's different.