Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Age-Related Concerns

I'm hoping I don't sound all whiney or anything, but I'm seriously concerned about having turned 40 and now it feels like my body is falling apart.

Exhibit A: My rotator cuff. Now, I haven't been to the doctor, but my local friend who is a PA (and since he is my friend he diagnosed me for free) told me I have torn my rotator cuff. Now, without magnetic resonance imaging, the extent of the tear remains a mystery. Here is a pic of what I think my cuff looks like:

Why does both my (free) PA and I think this? Because I can't lift my arm over my head without severe pain. Also, in trying to lift my arm, I overcompensate with my chest muscles, trying in vain to get my right arm to do what my left seems to do without any trouble whatsoever.

An MRI would be the final diagnostic tool and a few weeks ago I would have been fine with an MRI. But then my dad asked if I had ever had an MRI.

Me: Nope, never.
Dad: Are you claustrophobic?
Me: I don't think so.

Then he proceeds to describe how after you are rolled into an MRI machine the walls of the machine pretty much surround you and give you about 1 inch of wiggle room on all sides. And, only your feet stick out.

Now I'm starting to feel all claustrophobic just thinking about this. I mean, what if we have a major catastrophe and I'm stuck in this machine as the hospital falls around me, and the orderlies and nurses run screaming from the room to save themselves? I mean, I might be magnetically charged the rest of my life, never able to even be several feet within anything made of metal. I'd be so magnified that I would draw leftover nails from construction 10 years ago out of the ground! And no more underwire bras for me! I'd never get them off again. Ok, really I'm just scared of being crushed to death in that horrid machine. Honest to goodness, I'd rather have exploratory surgery to confirm my diagnosis than go into an MRI machine at this point! Who knew I was so claustrophobic??

Exhibit B: My vision. You might recall I lamented last year about getting trifocals. Even though I have the "right" glasses, they don't work. No lie. I can see distance no problem, but there is no way I can read close up...or at middle distance. And it's getting worse. I was recently at a darkish "romantic"-like restaurant. It's a good thing I knew the menu already because I couldn't read a darn thing!!

Can you read this? Probably, but I can't.

Exhibit C: Last night I started feeling all weak in my back, and then the pain hit. I had H. give me a massage in my lower back, but it didn't help! I tossed and turned all night. And what I mean by that was every time my back hurt (a lot) I had to grip either the sheets or the side of the bed and use my arm strength to roll myself over. Not pleasant, not easy.

Yes, that is the region where my pain is. No, my bee-hind isn't that firm.


And, as a pleasant reminder that yes my body is fragile in more than 3 regions, I just cut myself on a can lid while attempting to make homemade bean soup that is served half and half with Canadian Cheddar Cheese soup. Not just a run of the mill cut while cooking; deeper, but not deep enough to need stitches (I know this because I couldn't see anything like fatty tissue or muscle on the inside of my cut). The cut is on my thumb, on the inside, near the bendy part. No bendy no more! I had to pull out the hydrogen peroxide, sterile bandages, Bactroban, tape...and now I'm all fixed up and thankfully all my thumb needs to do on this keyboard is hit the very large space bar. I actually think I'm typing better than normal, but I think I taped this too tight as I'm starting to lose feeling in the tip of my thumb.

AHHHHH, life is good people. I'm alive enough to "feel" and you know what, despite all the aches, pains, cuts, bruises, tears (rhymes with pears), and bluriness, I'm feeling good!


mom/Janet said...

You're too funny. If it makes you feel any better, it happens to the best of us. If you ever want to know about an MRI call me. I've had dozens - - - it's not that bad but there are alternatives. Hope the shoulder diagnosis is not right. That's not good. The vision is a bad thing but very workable. All is well. Just hang in there.

Jules said...

I've had a few MRI's and while they are not pleasant you can manage it. They give you valium and so you feel really calm. The last one I had I literally used the entire 20 minutes to pray, it really helped.

I've got a few aches and pains too, but I think it's just lack of exercise and my eyes are still pretty good, but I've had incredible vision my entire life. Hang in there and thanks for the laugh.

Brittany said...

well, at least your feet wouldn't be inside the machine. for some reason, i think that would make a difference to me.

i think you're just having a bad spell and that you're not really old. i'd give yourself one month and you'll feel like your old self again. that is, of course, if you get the MRI. otherwise i'm gonna give you six months. it's your choice - one or six. you choose. :)

Becky said...

I thought turning 30 was bad....dang! Now I have to dread 40. Shoot!

I love all your pictures. Each was perfect!

I hope your aches and pains are resolved soon.

Oh and the MRI machine...never had one, but I think you are over thinking it. Just breath.

PS - I love how you write. Your writing reminds me of Cjane. Do you know her? I think she is an excellent writer. You equally as good, if not better.

Abbie said...

Boo for body pain. :(

Jana Brookes said...

I feel like I'm falling apart too, but at 31. Dang! I had an MRI about 8 years ago to see if I had a tumor. I was having awful migraines (still do), but thank goodness no tumor. It's not the most fun thing I've ever done, but I really think you could do it. I guess I didn't have anyone scaring me before I went it and had it done though. I didn't really think much of it.
My back feels about like yours too. Sweet James scheduled me a massage last week and it felt so nice. I hope yours can get feeling better. I've been using my wonderful heat pad on my back just about every night for the last few weeks. I'm just a little worried about my hips wanting to fall off now, trying to make way for this new baby!!!
Hope things start looking up for you!

Katie said...

So is it bad that my body is falling apart at 30? Not quite sure what to think about 40!

FYI (b/c I've had a few MRIs) you can tell whoever orders an MRI that you are claustraphobic and they can schedule an MRI in-patient. They have bigger MRIs in the hospital which are WAY better as far as that goes.

Sorry you're hurting. NO fun! It might be time to invest in a temperpedic...I LOVE mine!! (just do 0% interest til its paid off...i highlly recommend it:)

Jeff said...

Oh Jeanna, you crack me up. Trust me, I'm falling apart as well (knee, back, eyes among other things). My suggestion for when you have your MRI? Go to your happy place. That's what I do when I have scary procedures done. I just pretend it isn't happening and that I'm in Hawaii or in the mountains. Let denial be your friend.

Dale said...

Not to put me on the same level, but I had a little back pain the other day that woke me up every time I moved. Let me just say, it was not a pleasant night, nor was it a pleasant next day! Good luck with all of your pain! And I'll just agree with everyone else about the MRI's. I've a had 2 or 3 and they aren't bad. I listened to music and closed my eyes and it was over.

Holley, Dane Brien & Wesley Berry said...

You are hilarious! I love you! Stop fretting and get thee to an MRI machine! I know it seems like the pain you know is better and easier to handle than the pain you don't know...but just think of it this way. If you do get trapped in the MRI machine...maybe that will be Heavenly Father's way of giving you "Super" powers.

Make way for Super Jeanna!