Exhibit A: My rotator cuff. Now, I haven't been to the doctor, but my local friend who is a PA (and since he is my friend he diagnosed me for free) told me I have torn my rotator cuff. Now, without magnetic resonance imaging, the extent of the tear remains a mystery. Here is a pic of what I think my cuff looks like:
Why does both my (free) PA and I think this? Because I can't lift my arm over my head without severe pain. Also, in trying to lift my arm, I overcompensate with my chest muscles, trying in vain to get my right arm to do what my left seems to do without any trouble whatsoever.
An MRI would be the final diagnostic tool and a few weeks ago I would have been fine with an MRI. But then my dad asked if I had ever had an MRI.
Me: Nope, never.
Dad: Are you claustrophobic?
Me: I don't think so.
Then he proceeds to describe how after you are rolled into an MRI machine the walls of the machine pretty much surround you and give you about 1 inch of wiggle room on all sides. And, only your feet stick out.
Now I'm starting to feel all claustrophobic just thinking about this. I mean, what if we have a major catastrophe and I'm stuck in this machine as the hospital falls around me, and the orderlies and nurses run screaming from the room to save themselves? I mean, I might be magnetically charged the rest of my life, never able to even be several feet within anything made of metal. I'd be so magnified that I would draw leftover nails from construction 10 years ago out of the ground! And no more underwire bras for me! I'd never get them off again. Ok, really I'm just scared of being crushed to death in that horrid machine. Honest to goodness, I'd rather have exploratory surgery to confirm my diagnosis than go into an MRI machine at this point! Who knew I was so claustrophobic??
Exhibit B: My vision. You might recall I lamented last year about getting trifocals. Even though I have the "right" glasses, they don't work. No lie. I can see distance no problem, but there is no way I can read close up...or at middle distance. And it's getting worse. I was recently at a darkish "romantic"-like restaurant. It's a good thing I knew the menu already because I couldn't read a darn thing!!
Can you read this? Probably, but I can't.
Exhibit C: Last night I started feeling all weak in my back, and then the pain hit. I had H. give me a massage in my lower back, but it didn't help! I tossed and turned all night. And what I mean by that was every time my back hurt (a lot) I had to grip either the sheets or the side of the bed and use my arm strength to roll myself over. Not pleasant, not easy.
Yes, that is the region where my pain is. No, my bee-hind isn't that firm.
And, as a pleasant reminder that yes my body is fragile in more than 3 regions, I just cut myself on a can lid while attempting to make homemade bean soup that is served half and half with Canadian Cheddar Cheese soup. Not just a run of the mill cut while cooking; deeper, but not deep enough to need stitches (I know this because I couldn't see anything like fatty tissue or muscle on the inside of my cut). The cut is on my thumb, on the inside, near the bendy part. No bendy no more! I had to pull out the hydrogen peroxide, sterile bandages, Bactroban, tape...and now I'm all fixed up and thankfully all my thumb needs to do on this keyboard is hit the very large space bar. I actually think I'm typing better than normal, but I think I taped this too tight as I'm starting to lose feeling in the tip of my thumb.
AHHHHH, life is good people. I'm alive enough to "feel" and you know what, despite all the aches, pains, cuts, bruises, tears (rhymes with pears), and bluriness, I'm feeling good!