Thursday, April 7, 2011

A Fresh Start

I like Spring. Tulips are my favorite flower because of their ability to endure the long, cold winter and to pop up from the ground just as I feel like I need some hope. And they are extremely hardy looking and beautiful. I see myself in the same way. Hardy, enduring, and beautiful. I have a lot to offer, even with all my imperfections.

Today was my last day of work for Intermountain. When I started there almost 10 years ago I was full of fear and anxiety, wondering if I'd be able to learn everything I needed to become successful. Many of my fellow employees have left, a lot left disgruntled due to a corporate merge a few years back. I stuck it out because the corporate reshuffling didn't feel as personal to me. Soon after the corporatizing of my department, a new department opened up within transcription. Quality assurance and training. I applied and was hired, signifying that I was at the top of my game. I understood the principles of transcription, how to produce quality work in a timely manner, and I had the ability to teach this concept to others. I have been in that department for about 2-1/2 years. The original team I was hired with have all left, except my immediate supervisor. There had been a huge scheduling issue that many did not want to deal with any more. Neither did I. Due to that scheduling issue and to our family's need for a more stable financial future, I took the new job at BYU.

I clocked out for the last time today at 3:30 p.m. For some reason our department never feels the need to share which employees are leaving. Many are left wondering, "hey, whatever happened to so-so?" I told several of my friends of course, but the masses have no idea I've left.
Five minutes before I clocked out I got an IM from one of my new team members with the following message:


And she proceeded to send encouraging messages to me.

4, :) You have been such a great leader and trainer. Thank you for all you've done.

3 You are going to be terrific at your new job.

2 Finally out of your basement!!

1 You'll never be vitamin D deficient again!

And as I clocked out, alone in my basement except for the one IM conversation with Michelle, I cried and cried. Big, deep, heaving sobs.

I had felt successful at this job. I had felt like I was at the top of my game. I had felt the respect of many of my colleagues.

But here I sat, alone. No one seemingly cared. How do you leave a company after almost 10 years and people don't seem to notice?

This was the nature of my job. Alone in my basement; training, teaching and guiding from my desk chair.

But I had an angel with me today. As I thought about Michelle, who noticed that I was taking a huge step into my future today, I thought of the song, As Sisters In Zion. The line I thought of was this: The errand of angels is given to women. Michelle was on an angelic errand today, though she probably did not know it. She intuitively saw my need and came to my aid. She was my angel.

It's Spring and I need the sunshine. I need to feel the warmth on my back. I need to see the faces of my colleagues. I need to feel valued on a more personal level. I don't blame most of my coworkers for not noticing. I don't feel upset by what happened today, as the saying goes, "it is what it is."

I've never liked the whole New Year's fresh start thing. For me, my fresh start comes in Spring. I've cracked the hard, unforgiving ground of winter and am starting to make my way towards my source of light.

I didn't leave my job because I need personal contact with other adults, I get plenty of that already. But I consider it a perk that I will be able to sit side by side with some fantastic minds, learn from them, offer my skills to them, and soak in the energy of a college campus.

Spring has sprung! And Angels exist.


Shera said...

Hey Jeanna...I feel like a freaky blog stalker, but I came across your blog a while back and started following. I hope that is okay. I just wanted to let you know that you will be missed. I look back at my training and think happy thoughts because of you and LuAnn. You were always so willing to answer my questions after training too and I really appreciated that!! Anyways, good luck with your new job! I am really happy for you. If you want to follow my blog, just send me your e-mail. Mine is

Collette said...

I'm glad that you are back blogging. I love your outlook on life. Good luck at your new job. I'm excited to hear about the great experiences you have. I always think of you when I hear my doctor recording the details of my c-sections and wonder who it is that will be transcribing that message. are great.

Katie said...

I soooo will miss you, although I didn't express it yesterday. You have been fabulous, the one I always looked to see if you were working if I needed help. I love the laughs and shout outs you give to me. And what the heck, why don't we recognize who is leaving. you are absolutely right! you deserve it, recognition for a job done extremely well. So from one fellow IHC worker, congrats on a job well done, good luck at BYU, and cheers to you! You are great!

Abbie said...

Tears.... so excited for your new adventure. You are going to be amazing!!

Julie J. said...

Okay, so I found this post since I called and left that message, but you can still call me back if you want.
This is a great post!
You are going to be great at your new job,successful and well liked by those you associate with, just as you are everywhere you go. Love you!

McGiven Family.... said...

I love you and think you are fabulous! I felt much the same when I left after 4 years but was never as good as you! You are going to be incredible at your new job! I cant wait to hear about it!

mom/Janet said...

I'm excited for you and envious at the same time. You seem so confident, even when there are challenges ahead. You are beautiful, just like those tulips that break through the ground each spring. I wish we lived closer so I could have a good cry with you. I need that now. No one needs my help in my job and no one knows I'm there so consider yourself lucky. Hey, Jeanna Good luck and best to you. Can't wait to hear more about the new experiences you will be having.

janet h said...

i'm happy for you, for your new job! hope you will stay motivated! :) take care now!

Becky said...

Love this post. Change is such an amazing adventure. Hard. But usually great.

I would love to hear how the new job is going. I loved working at BYU. I loved the energy and cycles of change each semester and yet the steadiness of my responsibilities. I'm sure you are still adjusting and learning but I'm sure you are doing a wonderful job! I bet your associates love you already!

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