Friday, April 4, 2014

Friday Musings

I have to admit, my kids don't really know about this blog so I feel kind of free to write whatever I want about them. On the other hand, they could discover the blog fairly easily if they were to check out my google account, which could happen.

I liked this blog better when I felt more incognito. Sounds silly, right? I mean, there are a few people out there who read the blog. Not a ton, but a few. So I've never really been incognito, have I?

Things seem to have calmed down with Savannah. It's been a week since the last big outburst/problem. Do I get comfortable? Do I get complacent? I want to! I want to so badly! After three solid months of trouble, this reprieve is nice.

Sav has a friend that's a boy. The kids at school say she has a boyfriend, but I prefer the other wording. I know, it's just semantics, but it helps me deal, ok?

I want to be supportive because she is at an age where she really could start dating one-on-one and pairing off and deciding her eternal future. But dang....just because she's of age doesn't mean she SHOULD be making those kinds of decisions. In fact, I really don't want her to do that just yet. In my mind, I'd like her to go to college, meet lots of boys, date a bunch, weed out unsuitables, and settle on a great guy....but definitely not a moment before the age of 23. (And I know that age sounds young to some.)

I digress.

What I'm struggling with and what I really want to explore is this: Savannah has a friend that's a boy and she wants to spend time with him. I like the boy. He's a good kid. He is also a junior so he isn't exactly leaving on his mission any time soon. I don't feel like I can't tell her to stop seeing this boy, nor do I feel I should, so I have to set rules and then be kind of neutral. Or at least seem neutral. And this boy is really her only good friend right now. So how do I be supportive without being encouraging? How do I let her have this experience?

I want to provide safe places for the two of them to interact and be friends, but if I let this kid come over to my house all the time am I sending the wrong message? (I haven't done this, I'm just wondering.)

And if I may whine just a bit, why is parenting so hard?

Anyone out there have any personal experience with this? Parents that were too lenient or not lenient enough? Did you have rules that helped your eternal progression and not hinder it? Did you rebel? Did your parents find the perfect balance between expectations and support?

I think about this constantly.


Julie J. said...

I couldn't help but notice from fb pis that homeboy has braces. Let's hope that keeps the makingout, well...out. Or at the least short and sweet.

Julie J. said...


Erin. said...

Hey there! I still read, and wish that you would update everyday!! I love your musings and writings! After reading your post, I've decided that we should have a double date soon so we can compare teenager stories. Maybe we can give some insight to one another. I've decided that having girls just may be the consequences for my unruly behavior as a teenager. And, I've got two more after this one! Say lots of prayers for her...she seems like a smart, ambitious girl. She'll be alright in the end - she comes from good stock!

RicksterVC said...

I try to hit the "next blog" button after checking mine, and came across yours. I only respond to blogs that are updated.

For whatever it's worth, I write my blog with the idea that everyone reads it, knowing that nobody really does.

As for child rearing, there are no right answers. Hope that you have given your children what they need to get on without you, and be there to guide them when they fail-and they will make some mistakes on the way to making right choices.

At least, that's what I tell myself.

Good luck, and I enjoyed tripping over your blog.

norman blaisdell said...

gee you sound like an interesting parent. Mine was a little bit unbalanced wanting to get rid of me but survived in her house til I was 18 then moved out. She never did tell any of us how she loved us or even cared. A bit nosy at ttimes then again well... take care