Dear Mr. White,
I know we've only had a couple of dates, but I feel I must write this letter to let you know just how much I am into you. Even after I saw you last, on Friday, I walked away feeling really good but not really realizing that the feeling was in large part due to YOU. When I walked into the gym this morning all ready for this morning's exercise journey and found you were taken I was devastated. How could you betray me for some skinny girl? I mean, I know that having her around is probably less stressful for you physically, but how satisfying can it be for you? The workout we do together has to be more gratifying. I don't blame you. And maybe the skinny girl doesn't know what we share together, otherwise she wouldn't make such a bold move.
When I realized we wouldn't be together today, I chose another treadmill. A black one. I think the fact that you are the lone white treadmill amongst a sea of black, more trendier, treadmills means that you and I have even more in common. We are the outsiders, the gym minorities. We belong together!
I could feel my newer, sleeker model struggling under my weight. And that made me long for you even more.
I know you don't have arms, but I just want you to know that is one of the qualities I really like about you. Other treadmills have arms and the arms just get in the way. As I walk or run with you my hands are free to move about unobstructed. But with the other men at the gym, their arms are stiff and large and my knuckles take a beating.
I was only able to run 9 minutes today and those 9 minutes were broken into 5 and 4 minutes, instead of one long run. Maybe that would have been the same with you today, but I would have known not to blame you.
I hope tomorrow will be different. I want to show you my new arm band that I purchased for hands-free walking/jogging. I think you'll really like it, I know I do. I'll be sure to get to bed by 10 p.m. so that I wake up to the alarm on the first ring. Maybe getting there earlier will mean that you will be available. I know you'll be waiting for me with open arms....I mean that figuratively of course.