My Unhealthy Fears

I am not nimble. Never have been. And by nimble I mean able to do regular fun activities without harming myself. I used to be pretty flexible if I was by myself on a gym mat, with my legs spread out. I could bend and practically touch my nose to the floor. Or bring both feet together to touch and bring my heels in contact with my torso.

But nimble is different.

Case(s) in point:

1. Ice blocking. I tried this once. I was a bit scared because as harmless as they look, those blocks of ice can go careening off a grassy knoll pretty quickly. I was dating Harold at the time and he was a Family Home Evening "dad" and his presence was required at the activity. I got on that tiny little block and next thing you know KABAM and I'm off the block and something hurts.

2. Nature's waterslide. I was talked into this adventure by a bunch of single adults in my apartment complex in Provo. This waterslide was on private property, but someone thought it would be okay. Probably one of the males based on the amount of times I've heard Harold say the exact same thing when we are doing something I'm worried about...."It'll be fine." "It's okay!" We find the waterfall and it is pretty cool. You are supposed to wear cut-off jeans because you need a thick fabric between your bottom and the "slick rock." I try it a couple of times and, hey, it works! So on my third attempt I go to the top and 4 or 5 guys say, Lets do a train! So, I'm the engine in front and they line up behind me. Now, this is one of those times where I cannot believe my good fortune. I have all these guys vying to hang with me and think I'm cool enough to do it. Of course I'm on board! We slide down the slide, not as fast as I would have hoped so that when we get to the little spring at the bottom I DO NOT glide across the top to make room for the (what seems like) 50 burly guys behind me. So, I land...and all those guys land on top of me. This forces my two legs to split in such a way as to make any gymnastics pro proud. I couldn't get up. They were on me for a while before they piled off, I was under water. Then when I could get some air, it turns out my legs won't hold me. I literally could not walk. I had to have someone help me out of the water, down the hill and into the car. From there I was driven straight to the ER where I was x-rayed and told that I had practically dislocated my hip. I spent a week on crutches and then the next few winters feeling serious pain and aching in that hip whenever it got cold. I fear for my hip's future!

3. Skiing. This isn't an injury story per se. I attempted to go skiing as a freshman at BYU. We loaded in my roommates car and went up the mountain only to encounter a major blizzard. By the time we got to the parking lot of the ski resort we had barely escaped serious bodily injury in a close-call car collision. We decided we had to get outta there and immediately drove back home without ever skiing. When I got home my mom was freaked out because a guy from my home ward had gone skiing the exact same day and had been killed because he hit a tree. I've never tried to go skiing again.

As you can see, I'm not a sportsman. This big story is an explanation into why I haven't run for a week. I have a knee twinge. Today on the treadmill I could feel the twinge and I started picturing me stepping down wrong and throwing my knee out. Then I could picture me tripping forward on the treadmill, whacking my head on the console, and being thrust backward from there by the belt because I don't wear the "safety" pin. Then I was picturing the belt grabbing my hair and the next thing you know my scalp is gone.

This scenario reminds me of that little cartoon girl on Sesame Street who has a balloon and a straight pin and wonders what would happen if she popped this balloon and could see the consequences of her action being her old grandma getting startled in her rocking chair, rocking right over the cat's tail, the cat going wild, etc.

A couple of weeks ago my little sister and her husband went skiing. It was her first time. I asked if she had her paperwork in order, meaning did she have it in writing who she wanted the kids to go to should something terrible happen. She hated skiing by the way. And I find comfort in that. My other sister is married to a guy who is super into outside recreation. Once when she was engaged to him she was out on a boat in a reservoir with him and another brother and his wife. She got onto a tube and they started whipping her around because they think its "fun." She hated it. I take comfort in that, too. We never went camping as a family, I never went to girl's camp, outside activities just aren't something we did. We talked. We played board games. We ate yummy snacks while we did those things. That was our kind of fun. So I come by these Unhealthy Fears quite honestly.

ADDENDUM: Julie's comment on this blog post made me remember the other incident I was going to blog about. I went water skiing once in Lake Tahoe. I got up on my first try! Then as I sat there bobbing up and down in the water, imagining all kinds of icky things about what was lurking beneath the surface, it took 3 passes of the boat to get me the rope. By that time I had freaked myself WAY out and had to get into the boat. My uncle was seriously trying to talk me into trying again, so impressed by my water skiing prowess on my first attempt. I could not be swayed. Then that night I came down with a 24-hour flu, further cementing my good decision about not returning to the frigid waters. I'm a boat rider, but not a water sports girl either.