Last night I was invited as the primary pianist to sit in on the primary presidency meeting to give my two cents about music needs. I went into the meeting telling myself to keep my mouth shut because 1. I am not the chorister and 2. I have opinions about everything and a lot of times my mouth runs off with my strong opinions and that can hurt people. So I spent at least 1 hour sitting there, looking thoughtful, laughing at the appropriate times and generally just trying to keep warm because the heat had not been turned on in the primary room. Then it happened. The president starts talking about sharing time and starts handing out printoffs from the internet from a non-church website. Well, it's a website with the church's name in it, but not lds.org. I have very strong feelings about using ONLY the church's website when preparing lessons. I feel that if the general primary presidency was inspired to come up with the ideas then I am going to use them and nothing else. At one point one of the ladies says she is confused about something and I pop off with "Doesn't The Friend have sharing time ideas anymore?" Ooops. There it is. My opinion overflowing and bubbling out of my mouth like a a rabid animal. Another lady says, "Jeanna was a stickler about using The Friend for sharing time." That was a nice way of putting it. At this point I can feel the flush in my cheeks, not from embarassment but from this need I have to tell everyone just what I think and why I believe my thoughts are superior to everyone else's. Yikes. Can somebody please stop me? The president, bless her heart, just said, "Tell me about that." So I proceeded to tell them exactly why I think using The Friend is so important. But here is the deal, I know I come off looking all high and mighty, like my reasoning is based on spiritual ground and therefore is unshakable. After some discussion I could tell that they were understanding what I was saying and were very open to it. However, I still feel bad. Maybe it isn't that I have to express my opinion, but maybe it is because I stifle myself for so long that by the time it comes out it is forceful and like a slap in the face instead of a kind suggestion.
Anyone who knows me knows this about me. I have opinions. I like to share them. And in many cases I come across as less than charitable. In fact, last night after I got home I got a call from Karen and her exact first words were, "I need to ask your opinion." My exact response was, "I ALWAYS have an opinion, ask away."
I think that voicing what I think is healthy on a lot of levels, but maybe not so healthy for interpersonal relationships with acquiantances. Now that I think about it I am probably way to open with my opinion with my family and close friends too.
I think the only time my opinion is really great is when I am asked to tell a friend whether or not an article of clothing looks good and she specifically asks me to tell the truth. That I am good at. If it looks awful I tell her. If it is okay, so-so, I tell her that. But if it is terrific I tell her that too.
The moral of this story is that if you want an honest opinion I will give it to you. Every time. Just be specific and tell me that it is honesty you want, otherwise I will gloss over the truth.
Glossed over Truth: That new shirt looks great!
The Cold Hard Truth: Oh honey, that shirt makes you look like a beached whale who needs to get more sun.
Glossed over Truth: Great new haircut!
The Cold Hard Truth: Yikes, what were you and your hairdresser thinking? Terrible cut, terrible color. Not so many layers next time okay?
Glossed over Truth: Nice talk today!
The Cold Hard Truth: I was so bored I don't remember a thing you said.
You get the idea. Unfortunately for H he is on the receiving end of most of my cold hard truths. Are you going to wear that on our date tonight? Dude, get a toothbrush. Do your hair, it looks terrible.
The good news is that if you ask for the truth and I give a compliment it is sincere. For instance, H looks great in his olive colored shirt and red shirt. Very, very nice. He looks excellent in his suit. When he gets his hair cut and doesn't get it cut to the quick he looks terrific.
So even knowing this about me, H still doesn't trust me when he says, "Am I as fat as that guy?" and I tell him no. But if he IS as fat as that guy, I will tell him yes. And I expect him to do the same for me.
Wow, and I thought I didn't have anything to blog about today. Boy was I wrong! (Again, the cold hard truth, even I can admit when I am wrong.)