I'll be the first to admit that nothing much has been going on lately. Since being out of school (why oh why can't she stop talking about her life pre and post-school?) I have been pretty much doing diddly. I work. I fix a few meals here and there (and those aren't so great, ask my family), and the most exciting thing is that we have continued to take the foster care classes. Let's talk about that, shall we?
We have had several interesting guest speakers, former meth addicts mostly, and foster parents. We have seen several interesting videos, mostly produced in the 80s and in addition to being completely out of date, end up freaking Harold and I WAY OUT. There are those cases of severe sexual abuse, severe neglect, and my personal favorite (meaning the one that freaked me out the worst) the attachment disorder. I know that they have to show/teach us the worst case scenario, but dang!
We are two classes away from being done, have been assigned a licensing agent, and our friends and family who we listed as references have all received letters wherein they were asked to describe us and what experience we have had with children. One of the best questions asked is whether or not the person filling out the questionaire is planning on discussing their responses with us. I love this one because anyone who knows me knows that I have an insane sense of curiosity and it takes all my energy not to ask to see the questionaire all filled out. I must admit that I restrained myself.
However, the best response to that question was my mother. She informed DCFS that she WOULD NOT be discussing the responses with me. What? My own flesh and blood? Come on mom!? Why oh why!? Of all people you know how badly I wanted to see those papers, you know exactly how heightened my sense of curiosity is. My own mother let me down.
I talked to a friend of a friend (for lack of a better way to describe her) today who is fostering at the current time. She was very informative (thanks Julie for the reference) and very honest with me.
Harold and I are still discussing the options and have yet to get "THE ANSWER." The one that will keep us moving forward with this process. Harold reminded me of the talk given by President Packer about walking into the darkness to get to the light. That is how I feel, like I am walking in darkness. Not an evil kind of thing, but an unknown. At least I have Harold, the darkness isn't so scary with him by my side.