Postop

Harold would probably be mortified if he knew I was posting this.....but I'll do it anyway. Because that is the kind of person I am, I have to get a laugh at the expense of Harold.

Harold got his gallbladder removed today. We went in around 7:30 a.m. and he was released around 12:30 p.m. So, 5 hours in and out, wham, bam, thank you ma'am. He has four tiny incisions and at this moment he is resting comfortably in bed.

When the surgeon came out to tell me all about how the surgery went (in 30 seconds or less, because that is how great the bedside manner of most surgeon's is) he relayed to me that Harold's gallbladder had cholesterol deposits inside and that was probably what was causing the gallbladder to have problems.

I get called back to his recovery room and he is SUPER out of it. He asks what the doc said and I tell him about the cholesterol deposits, then I proceed to make a crack about how if there are those kinds of deposits in his gallbladder, then there most be some in his heart as well. "NO FAT FOR YOU!" I declared.

Then, in the most out-of-it state Harold has ever been in, he says, "then I shouldn't have had my gallbladder taken out."

Me: "What, why?"

H: "Because there weren't any stones."

Me: "But you knew that going in, the ultrasound never showed any stones."

H: "I know."

Me: Stumped.

Okay, give the guy some slack. The anesthesia is messing with him.

Later on.....

H: "So I shouldn't have had my gallbladder out."

Me: "Why do you say that?"

H: "Because...."

Me: "Dude, this operation cost us LESS money than the ER visit, or any subsequent ER visits the pain might have incurred."

H: "Yeah..."

Me: Stumped again.

Then later.....

H: "Did the doctor say I have this problem because I am fat?"

Me: "No dude, he never said ANYTHING about you being fat."

Me: Stumped again.

Maybe I missed my calling in life. I should have been a nurse in same-day surgery.