Today I read my term paper in front of my Senior Course classmates, the paper was entitled: Capote V. Grisham: A Study In The Nonfiction Novel.
I had a great time researching and writing this paper, and I worked it and worked it. Then when I was done I had a feeling I had a solid B paper on my hands. I was pretty nervous to read my paper aloud. I really do like turning in my papers and having the professor read it in the privacy of his home or office where I sometimes picture them laughing their heads off at the stuff that I and my classmates come up with. Because I am never there to see their reactions, it makes me feel better and I can continue to look my professors in the eye.
Reading my paper aloud to the entire class made me feel naked, vulnerable. I read it and felt the heat rising in my face but just kept on going. After it was over I sat back, relieved, as the next contestant got his turn.
After class the teacher has a little mini conference with the two of us who "presented." The Prof. tells the guy what a great job he did and how there are just some very minor improvements he could make. Then he turned to me, and because I do not have Capote's 95% accuracy when recalling conversations my paraphrased account goes like this:
Prof: You did an excellent job. Your prose comparisons were terrific.
Me: Really? (Picture me with my eyes squinted up, head cocked to the right, and a look of pure shock on my face.)
Prof: Have you ever read a scholarly review?
Me: Um, I don't know. What is a scholarly review?
Prof: It is a review done on a book, but longer than what you would read in most newspapers. Since Grisham's book is still on the bestseller list I am thinking you should contact some places that publish scholarly reviews and send out some feelers to see if they might be interested in your review.
Me: What? Really? (and there is the dialogue in my head that continues with "SHUT UP! Are you kidding me?! I cannot believe this!)
Prof: Yes, absolutely.
Me: Um, okay. How do I go about doing that?
Because we have to complete applications to submit our papers to a conference, as a class assignment, I asked if I could instead send out these feelers as my assignment instead. He told me that would be fine.
I am still so stinkin' happy about this development. I was so, so, so happy, and completely pleased. I am not being modest when I say that I am sure I wrote a solid B paper, nothing more, nothing less. I still stand by that, but having my professor who I consider to be pretty intelligent and knowledgable suggest that my paper is good enough and interesting enough to publish? This was the perfect way for me to end my time at BYU.
I have tears in my eyes as I type this, I am just so happy. There is no other way to say it. I have 100% loved this entire experience. I hope that I can instill the love of learning into my children and that they will learn from my mistakes and love learning while they are young and appreciate an education starting now.
To my reading public: Thank you for being so supportive of me and always cheering me on, even when I felt like I didn't measure up to all the smarty pants on campus. I have the best family and friends a girl could ask for.