I am not the most emotional person I know. In fact a lot of times I consider myself kind of cold and impersonal. I get a little offish with people I don't know until I've had time to get to know them better. I have been seen as stuck up at times, and probably just plain rude.
However, I cry at the slightest provocation from movies or commercials. Once fairly recently Harold and I watched the Mormon movie, Return With Honor. We were 95% through the movie when I turned to Harold and told him how stupid and slow the movie was. Then literally 1-2 minutes later, I was bawling over that dumb movie. Harold was dumbfounded. He couldn't believe I was so fickle about the movie. Here is the thing...I get easily choked up when it comes to family and when it comes to my religion.
Having said that, on Sunday night Sav and I drove over to the stake center to drop off her stuff for girls camp. There were so many parents, girls, camp leaders and members of the stake leadership hauling sleeping bags, backpacks, air mattresses (spoiled!), etc.
I held it together pretty well. We came home and I was fine. Then at 6:45 on Monday morning I had to drive her back to the stake center for the drop off. More girls, more parents, more bins with camp supplies for each ward/stake. I didn't care one iota about any of it. There was just one girl on my mind. My beautiful, fun, excited little Beehive going to her first year of girl's camp.
We had failed to give her a big enough duffel bag so she ended up putting WAY too much in her backpack. She was back heavy. She had me put in foam curlers the night before so her hair was all wavy and cute, she was wearing her new Dollar Store white bedazzled sunglasses and clutching her pillow. We waited in the car until her good friend showed up, then we unloaded and started walking. When we arrived at her friend's truck (the friends mom is our ward camp director, brave-wonderful woman!)
As we arrived I put my arms around her, gave her a huge hug and kissed her repeatedly on her right cheek. Quick, happy, I-Love-You kisses, about 8-12 or so. I told her I loved her, to have fun, stay safe and I'd see her on Friday.
Then as I walked away my eyes started to pool up. Even now my eyes are pooling up thinking about it. Darn I love that girl. She has made me so proud as a mother. I can already see that she and I will be great friends when she is older and wants me as a friend. She has a great sense of humor. It has only been 35 hours since I said goodbye and she will return in 65, so I'm about half way there.
I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...
9 comments:
You have taught her well and she will have a great time! Good job mom!
It was good for me to read that. When I went to canp I didn't really think much about the other side. All the mom's who were entrusting me with their precious daughters. I get very emotional about my kids too. I can't even think about taking Garrett to kindergarten it sends to depression. Who would have thought we would end up such boobs? I love that we can share that part of motherhood.
Of course you can do it... And she'll be so glad you did. I have awesome memories of Girls Camp.
I got a teary eyed reading your post. All the mile stones your kids go through. Just wait, there's lots of tears ahead. good and bad. I think you can I think you can I think you can
wow. that was a really good post. i'm glad that you think of sav as your friend and look forward to building an even closer friendship. she really is a sweet girl!
Sorry that Matthew post above is acctually from me.
i thought the Matthew post was funnier when it was from matthew! :) I thought he was joking around! Anyways, Savannah is sure to have a blast at girls camp. She'll be back before you know it and then she'll do something to make you wish she was at girls camp again! :) LOL! Only kidding!
I know if which you speak dear cuz. It's so hard to watch your kids venture off into the world. On the one hand you're so proud and excited for them and then on the other, you are mourning their lost babyhood. I've been walking around grief stricken for the past 4 years because one day my boys were little and the next day they weren't! Sav will have a blast and as a mother, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!
The first time Harold went to Scout Camp I didn't know how I was going to make it through the week I missed him so much. All of the same emotions you had with your girl, I had with my boy. It doesn't matter gender, that's just how a mom feels. It was so tough that week, I wondered how I would get through 104 weeks of having Harold gone on a mission.
I will say this, it gets easier only because eventually you come to know that in 99.99% of the goings away, your child comes back. But every time a kid leaves (for camp, or college, or a mission), it is still a little piece of your heart being torn out as they go. That makes the reunion all the sweeter.
That "ultimate sweet reunion" is what keeps me going sometimes when I think of all the years in my earth life I didn't get to go pick up Jeremy "at the end of the week". I am looking forward to that.
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